I know that they say the worst time to make change is in the midst of a crisis, but there is also something about crisis that makes change necessary. For months before Max was born I didn't think I would go back to work, or at least not the same job. Now I am going back to the same job, but I'm also thinking about going back to school.
I guess part of me feels like I've had a reminder of how short life is and how we need to seize every moment and make them all worthwhile. I always felt like I couldn't do it all and I should have finished school when I was younger or wait until later... Why not do it all now? It might take longer if I can only take one or two classes at a time, but at least I'll be working towards it.
The other half of me is saying I'm crazy and that I'm not in any position to make decisions right now.
I did see a psychic with a friend just before Max was born and she told me that there would be big changes coming for me in the fall. At the time I was thinking about an entirely different career change. She also told me that my baby was very alive....he was then. I thought it was interesting that she would word it that way, I didn't tell her anything about him until she was done. She said that she could sense his spirit and that he had a very strong presence and that she thought he must be a very active baby. She was right. She told me that she saw heartache in our near future followed by big changes. She was also right when she said that he would come early and that he would set his own schedule.
I think I'll just keep taking things one day at a time, put one foot in front of the other and keep moving... see where it takes me.